and now to let you in on a few secrets…

July 17, 2007

Scotty had a job interview on Monday. He completed the online tests first last week and all seems to have gone well. We are waiting to hear more. It seems like a nice new oportunity but we’ll just keep everything crossed because it will probably be a hefty pay rise if he gets it. Waiting is the hardest part.

I’ve provisionally pre-booked the registrar for our wedding. We went on Sunday to Dragon Hall which is were we want to marry and have a reception. I personally still want a HUGE party after but not on the same day. Now this is not an invite to all and sundry but I want to let some people know the date. We’re booked in for August 23rd 2008. This should give us enough time to get sorted out. This is on my terms, my time line and as anyone who knows me close enough understands that I need it this way or it will never happen.

Scotty and I sat down over the weekend and penciled in a few basics so we know where to start from. Now all we have to do is start putting down deposits and arranging caterers and flowers and clothes. Which is all thoroughly atainable within the time line.

I did phone mum and let her know what was going on but then I was blasted with a list of things to do which did not assist at all, it confused me, made me worry and generally wound me up. Now I do LOVE my mum, she’s the best mum anyone could have but I can see me getting rather wound up by her not understanding what I want. I think the problem is I find it hard do let her know what I want and she over compensates by giving me too much information and on many items all at once. There are things I will need her help with, and things I dont.

So just to try and break down our converstation a little to make things clearer:

Car parking is not my issue right now.

I’m not ready to go to London to shop for fabric yet.

No Norwich does not have any wedding shops that stock wedding dresses with sleeves in.

I want a corset under my dress, not a basque or standard undies which means a trip for me to rigby and peller London. No I cant get that sort of thing in Norwich. (this was a lot more long winded I just cut it down)

Yes we can travel to ireland or scotland to get the celtic style I want but I’m not sure I’ll find it that easily and yes I’d love you to make the dress if you can understand what I want. No gold, no cream, er um. I sent on designs and was sent back dress patterns to stick together. Good ideas but still not understanding my point. My mum can and will make my dress if I ask her. Firstly I need to spend some time shopping around.

flowers? nope not even started there yet. Dragon Hall does not particularly need them its a sight in itself.

dressing the hall? I mentioned some window covers and then it ended in full details as how to attach a voile cover when she’s not even seen them. Its a grade 1 listed building so nothing nailed, blue tacked or taped.

MUM PLEASE stop trying so hard, you’re squishing me! and that was just one phone call because we’ve fixed a date. Mum has told me to tell her when to stop. I think I need to say STOP and I’ll tell you when to start.


  1. Good luck Scotty!

  2. well, she’s excited… as am I to be honest 🙂

    One way to approach it (and by all means tell me to butt out) is to decide what’s highly important to you and what you’d just “like”. Then the “like” details can be assigned to other people, making (a) it not your problem and (b) them feel useful, and you are free to get fussy, and, if necessary, stroppy, about important stuff with professionals.

    Frinstance, if you want nice (picks item at random) wedding invitations, but aren’t too fussed about exactly how they look as long as they’re nice, then that would be a good thing to put your mum in charge of.

    If, however, a big thing for you is having the perfect wedding invitations, then make it between you and the printers, because you will find it much easier to say to the printer “no, that’s not what I wanted, I want more… less… etc, please re-do it” than you will to say to your actual mother “I know you’ve tried hard and it is beautiful but not what I had in mind,” leading to potential family disharmony.

  3. cheers Mary. I’ve had a 2nd thought about it and seen the light. Since then a good 40 minute chat with mum has got her in the right place and me also. We’re both much happier about it now. Plus she understands nothing else can be arranged just yet until we have a few confirmations on items and start paying deposits on things. By the looks of it catering is sorted as is the bar and the location for the whole event.
    Mum wants to make my dress, which she can do VERY well. At one time I was scared she would not understand or want to do it her way but we both know now thats not the case. What I need first is some stirdy underwear and to go and try on some dresses so I can assess styles. I’ve even contacted my mate Eve near London so we can go on a shopping spree. (she knows London so much better than me)

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