h1

falling asleep feeling guilty.

July 18, 2007

that was me last night after moaning about mum trying to help, because that’s all she’s trying to do.

I had a good old think about it and I realise its me and not her at fault. We were brought up with respect for our elders and especially mum because she is intelligent, understanding and mostly right. I entirely understand she has 30 years on me of experience and understands how things work better than me so therefore I give her all the time in the world to explain stuff to me. I often refer to mum just for her opinion on things and I find that the choices she makes are probably the choices I would make. I have usually got all the time in the world to listen to her because I love and respect her.

Now in this situation she has requested that I lay down the rules. This is what I’m not used to. Yeah its my wedding day and it should be my choices but to do that I need to feed her the information and make the decisions, something I’ve where ever possible avoided and left to others. Her requesting information from me then sounds to me like demands which they are not. I misinterpret the aims of her words which are to get me to think about things and make my own mind up. Instead I see pushiness which all in all is not my mum.

Now I’ve got that out of my system, mum and dad will be coming over for the weekend and house sitting Erasmus, which means a MAHOOSIVE clean up for us. Its not that bad but I do like to leave the place nice for others when they are doing me a favour. Tomorrow will be cleaning and visiting the twins. Friday Saturday and Sunday will be camping at Eastern Haze. Its going to be GREAT. Then I have Monday off to recover and Tuesday off to try and get some useful stuff done. One thing I’m going to do is take my knitting camping with me. I’ve struggled to get any done at all this week due to work and organizing things. There’s nothing like a small holiday to assist with fun projects. Also I hope to come back with lots of photos.

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