not in the moodAugust 30, 2007
meh. cant be bothered with work, with reports, with stuff that concerns sitting at staring at a computer all day. Scotty is at home having a couple of days off before his new job and I’m sitting at a desk trying to get a semblance of desire to achieve anything at all today.
It does not help that I’ve been doing the same job for a week shy of 7 years. I’m usually quite contented with it, its a good job. Mostly I cant complain but there still is that nagging feeling that I’d rather be elsewhere trying to do something that floats my boat, that makes the hours disappear with a mere blink of an eye. You know the sort of thing, the stuff that dreams are made of, having my own alpaca farm or yarn shop or being creative at home. Some days I just wish I could have some time as a housewife to get time to put everything in order.
Although that would be nice, I do love my colleagues and I have a level of respect and support I need, also a level of freedom and self reliance that I adore in my job that will be difficult to find elsewhere. Its not complicated especially after doing it so long. Its not rocket science but its a matter of caring about what I do. For now I’m seriously loosing that care. I will not let it show though, I do just knuckle down and get on with it. Still the temptation to streak the office and tell them all where to go is ticking away in the back of my mind. It will never happen but you can bet I’m thinking about ways of departing with flamboyance of someone who’s just won the lottery, taken a few happy pills and decided they have nothing to loose.
One can wish.