Archive for April, 2008

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why all the quiet?

April 28, 2008

Dunno if you noticed.. I just did not blog there for a whole week. I had lots of reasons, some I want to go in to detail and cant and others are just the usual.

Firstly I had a few “issues” with a work colleague, I was treated in a way that was what I thought condescending and rude and generally talked down to like a child. This was after a couple of tough days running around helping out where I don’t have to assisting this person, but I choose to, to make things easier for others.

I was short on temper due to PMT but aside to that I felt miss-treated by one person and one person alone. I have since avoided dealing with that person. I am polite, positive and helpful still, but I do keep my distance and I have taken to not even making a conversation if small talk can brush it over until I can walk away. I would like to point out right now, this is of no reflection on the companies I work for or any other staff. This one person has managed to be offensive to several people in one week and therefore it will be dealt with through the correct and proper channels.

Working hard to avoid people meant I spent most of my week staring at the screen feeling like nobody wanted to talk to me. Its true I’m in a service role so that people tend only to approach me when they want or need something. Sometimes this is great but when I’m struggling for standard work I go and visit people and chat. Assist where possible and fill in my time sheet accordingly. Its nice that way, except avoiding people makes it awkward. I totally took the situation personally. I try not to do that, I ended up depressed thinking I’m struggling to do my job and help and getting no support in return, it was a one way street. Still I swear they are completely unable to see this, its like a blind spot that makes them completely self absorbed.

Of course this is not all true, its just the fact that even if I have made one or two small mistakes I recognise them and apologise for them whilst realising, no the actual issue is not my fault. I back out, run away and refuse to deal with my frustration and therefore hate myself for it. This one person I’ve worked with for 7 years is someone I cared enough to knit something for, since then I’ve not had the photos promised, I’ve not had any thanks returned and instead snappy snide and generally a forceful snooty and short attitude aimed at me. Why? because I apologised for something I was trying to do to help and that person has some issues that she has not talked to me about. I’m amazed at how much it did upset me, I agree I may still have some fault but at least I apologised for any of my behaviour, instantly, frequently and unassumingly. I think I’m just sad that I expected the same of someone I thought I could respect. I made a lot of effort to become a friend and had it all thrown right back at me. Maybe I’m still taking it all to personal but its going to take a whole lot of effort on that persons part for me ever to want to help her again. I’ll offer, be polite, and supportive, but in my heart… no love, no care and no respect. Sad times.

So ok that’s very depressing. I struggled there for a bit. Hay fever is also kicking in strong.

Friday night was good, we popped over to my brothers house just before he went on holiday, took a chinese so that they did not have to cook.

Scotty being the wonderful man that he is dragged me in to the city on Saturday morning. He bought new clothes and I bought new sunglasses, which also mean being out in the hay fevery stuff is easier for me. I also took a walk to the market and got some sock yarn, trekking XXL. I cast on when I got home, this cheered me and whilst Scotty spent all yesterday fending off what appeared to be a migraine I knitted until my fingers could knit no more. I may not have seen daylight apart from behind a window, still, I got to sit around and knit and that’s good for the soul, good for calming and relaxing and forgetting anything that could upset you.

now I feel bad for blogging all of this. I’m not sure its quite safe as fodder for the internet… damn it, I’ll leave it up. Sometimes its good to get it out in the open. Then if I’m really honest the house is a mess, I’ve not got around to cleaning it. I feel like a mess and I desperately need a haircut. Hate myself? yes, depressed? yes. Got ways to get over it? YES! Only because I have a loving family, a loving husband to be and two cats who will come and hug me.

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the curse of blogging

April 22, 2008

about knitting is, if you have not got got far enough to completely ban ripping back, keep quiet. Zip it. shut that cake hole and throw away the key.

The silk is stunning, except it has no bounce or pull like wool “duh” I said to myself, its silk you knew that. Knitting stockings in this is difficult. I started off with the wrong size needle for the yarn, 2.5mm and then got as far as finishing the toe. The fabric was very tight but not very giving at all. FROG.

Tried with a 2.75mm needle and the fabric is better for the yarn but the yarn does not make a fabric suitable to stand on. The gaps are too big and it won’t suck back in to shape like wool would. Its already chunky enough that its best not mixed with something else. I also don’t think it helps that the colinette TAO is a single ply too. This makes knitting it on any small needles a bit of a mare because of splitting and twisting. I had to rip back again and re-ball the yarn.

stockings halted. Most likely never to appear becuse I don’t have any suitably coloured light weight sock yarn even with any silk content. I may just have to go ravelry browsing and shopping. Oh dear, someone please confiscate my wallet before I buy more yarn than I can stash.

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decisive

April 21, 2008

yeah, me… bahahahahahahahaha hahahahaha hahahaha *wipes away tear*

no really, Scotty and I have sat down and made the center of our cards. He’s got to get them printed yet. I’ve made 20 cards so far for the outsides.

We also discussed the food for our wedding and we have what we would like to be set in stone for X number of people this will entirely be buffet style and to our tastes. Likely suspects are:

Mains: spinach and ricotta quiche, salmon and watercress parcels,veggie samosas, vegetable turine

Salads: Green salad, Potato salad, pasta salad, greek salad and roasted vegetable cous cous

Pudding: wedding cake (a new style fruity) chocolate fountain with fresh fruit, lemon cheesecake with raspberry coulis.

Sundries: cheese board with crackers, coffee and mints.

Its taken ages to get to a final idea of what we want. It will be top of the summer so even if it is raining its suitable food, not a sit down 3 course stuff your face. I expect the fountain will be messy but thats all part of the caterers contract. Mum has all these details and will be dealing with getting the contract sorted with the chosen caterer. Now its done I cant believe how easy it was. Lets just see how much they charge for this and staff.

Kitting is going well. I cracked and cast on a new pair of toes for some PURE SILK colinette TAO (marble) stockings for me. I’ve no idea if I have anything near enough yarn but I don’t really care at least I’m trying to knit my own wedding stockings. I just need a pattern that is incredibly lacy so that I can make the yarn go as far as possible. any ideas you knitters out there? I’ve got 4 skeins 50g each £13.50 per skein. Thats going to be £27 per leg folks. damn I’m going to look good.

Finally I baked more bread:

and played with the cats (see flickr for a couple more photos)

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a forgotten birthday

April 18, 2008

and lazy lazy me for not blogging about it sooner. *slaps own wrists*

Otis and Jasper turned 1 year old on Monday 14th April. They were both very good about it and have been harassing us most mornings since getting us up early, walking over the bed frame above our heads and snuggling up right by our shoulders and purring loudly. What can I say, I’ll make it up to them with some fresh home cooked fish this weekend.

For all their fans please follow the link below by clicking on the image to see the newest batch of photos of our stunningly cute boys:

(too lazy to link lots of photos)

how can I not fall totally in love with these guys? I could list the small reasons that annoy like the constant mewing from Otis or the quite vicious farting, or the fact that Jasper will not leave my hair alone, he’s also built like a tank and can easily trip you up and both of them cant leave my bathroom sink alone either. Still I’d rather have them and love them for all of this because it would not be the same without.

We received a letter from their previous owner saying where they were from, why they were placed in care and their origin which was one of the first breeding sets of rag dolls to enter the UK from the US. The previous owners fully explained the multiple cat house hold situation that caused these guys to leave and how much she missed them. It was heart breaking, although she does get to see my flickr photos and is very very happy that they are appearing to fully enjoy living at our house. One thing about these guys, they love guests and visitors, so friends come one, come all. These little fellas could do with pettings from everyone. Here’s to many more years with us rather than anywhere else. I’m going to have to pop and see her and frame her a photo for her house.

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lovely lovely

April 14, 2008

Gosh its already Monday night and I’ve not had time to reprise my weekend.

It was great! I achieved.. well sort of. Went to see mum and dad. Mum is suffering a little at the moment with more chemotherapy. It really does knock her about but she still fights on good and strong. She says its like walking up 9 flights of stairs when she just does the one flight and you get that wobbly leg feeling. Also her arms ache when she’s stripping the wall paper, or painting the walls. WHAT?? YOU WHAT? oh why oh why cant she stop? its because it keeps her going. She’d rather ache and get on with it than sit there. I don’t blame her, I just love her and wish that she would take the best care of herself for all our sakes. I’m sure she does really but I’m still shocked she does not slow down that much. Although she has slowed for my mum. It used to be EVERYTHING done TODAY. If it needed fixing she’d be on it. I’ve just GOT to love her. The best mum ever. Then there is dad, he’s looking after her so very very well, I’m in awe at his stamina and ability to deal with the situation. He keeps going when mum cant and takes all the nagging and instruction she can sit giving. I do love my parents so much, they are amazing.

Then after visiting mum and discussing catering and all those weddingy type things we went on to my brothers house for dinner and a quick play with the twins before bed time. I was fully amazed to see that Izzy has learned all of her ABC.. Tommy is not so forthcoming but he’s mastered potty training and she has not. They are both so very different! I gave them a bath, which basically meant playing with a bottle making squirty fountains to keep them entertained. They went off to bed and Scotty had a drink (antibiodes and driving duty) otherwise I would have stayed over. The world was put to rights and we took a wonder around the grounds in daylight to look at the new plants and in night light to play with powerful torches and marvel at the sunset from their property. Summer parties are going to be the best from their place.

Sunday I rose early thinking I must get some stuff sorted out. I baked a loaf of fresh bread… Just could not resist showing off to my old friend Eve… nipped to the shops, did washing, dishwasher, tidied and generally achieved lots. Scotty went out to take some photos with flickr friends. Eve came over with her beautiful daughter Alys. Alys just loved playing with the cats and throwing quite a hard ball right in their faces. They just took it sort of understanding that she did not know any better. I managed to talk Eve in to doing our wedding cake (its what she wants to do as her own business one day, and she said she would be honoured) which is another weight off my shoulders. Next time she visits she’s going to bring samples. Now is that not just the best visiting present? 🙂 I love her too. I’ve known Eve since I was 17. It was a bit distant for a while but I’m mighty glad we got back in touch. After Eve left for the long drive back to St Albans I sat and knitted.

All in all a very happy weekend, not everything sorted that I wanted to do, like invites and catering not completely decided but still I know what needs to be done now and its very easily achievable. The one thing I do need to do is set the catering in stone so that they cant sneak charges in here and there. You’d be amazed what 3 quotes have already tried to do

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all is well in jivaland…

April 11, 2008

well being that I tend to clench my jaw less in my sleep and I’m sleeping through and relaxing more. Better but I still have very tight shoulders. I could do with a massage almost daily but I cant put upon anyone to do that for me. Really I should get myself in to some Pilate’s or yoga, but that would mean spending less time at home and I love my home time.

The antibiodes as I like to call them are doing the right thing with my nasal passages… Its just a shame they are doing exactly what they always do to my female bits. Nuff said. This means whilst I’m on these pills I’ve placed myself on a strict diet. There is one thing I need to eat and that is a wheelbarrow load of live yogurt. The things I cant eat are anything sugary or anything with yeast in which includes bread vinegar and any alcohol. BOO! Not that I can remember the last time I had an alcoholic beverage. (newyears..) It truly bums always being the designated driver.

Anyhew on to things that are not so intimate to my physical being. The wedding planner came over last night. This is all included in the hire of Dragon hall. I knew of the lady in question, Softley events if you want to look it up. She has worked with my employer before and also at dragon hall. I have only heard good things about what she does, which is the way it should be. We discussed decoration, table placing, toys for kids, music, entertainment and over all I think we’ve got most of it in hand and both Scotty and I are feeling very comfortable about the whole thing. I thought by this stage I would be very worried. Honestly I don’t care if nobody but our family turn up as long as I get to marry the man. One of the best ideas she gave us was to leave blank CD’s on the tables instead of cameras. EVERYONE these days, or at least 90% of our guests will have their own digital cameras or mobile phones and a computer at home to copy over the images. This is such a great idea. Then it will also be easier to burn off a DVD for grannies so they can watch us on telly.

Both our boys appear to be well now too. Here’s hoping it lasts all summer! YAY!

ps, the spell check is back. I just spell some things likes I says them 😀

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I thought it was getting better…

April 8, 2008

So I hauled my sorry wide load in to the office. I sorta wish I hadn’t because I forgot to bring in any pain killers and I’m sitting here thinking if it gets any worse I’m going to extract my brain via my ear. I’m taking the antibiotics, but it could take up to a week to clear up. Its mainly my ears at the moment, I swear using a phone is no good for me! Plus up until 3pm most working days there are diggers and road surface lifters below my office window. OK enough of the moaning… I so need a nap.

I force fed the cats the horrid oxo cube wormers yesterday. HA take that. They will eat them. I just placed them in their mouths and held their head at an upward angle and told them to chew and swallow. They realised I was taking no prisoners and both of them backed down. they got lots of hugs and strokes and cuddles and special treats for being good boys.

I contacted cats protection and they confirmed they covered the last vets bill and all the tests. Total £253 YEEP. Thank god for them. What with the new car and some wedding deposits I was suddenly being parted from most of my life savings all in one month. At least this way I feel like I’m not having it all removed at the same time. I’m a hoarder of money, its mine. I worked for it, and I intend to hang on to as many of those pennies as I’ve earned. I know weddings cost a fortune and this one is not a cheap do, at least I’m getting help in covering it and not leaving myself completely bereft of any fall back.

Its working out nearly completely on target. I worked out when I started I expected to pay around £8000 for the whole caboodle including honeymoon. The new car has stretched me a little at the moment but its doable. I have it covered. Thanks to parents, friends, family, begging and borrowing (I dont steal) I am going to bring that total down. It helps that Scotty has agreed to pay for the whole honeymoon so I suppose I can take that out which is over 2 grand. YAY! What a great husband I’m going to have. oooh husband…. husband… its not sinking in yet and its 4ish months away. Cripey I’d best get all my invites out!

OH and I’ve noticed wordpress have updated the back end of my blog. All fine and good, its taken a few usages to find everything but I now cannot find the spell check so sorry folks you get to see my terible english in all its gory glory. meh live with it or go read something else more interesting.