Archive for July, 2008

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bewilderwood

July 31, 2008

I forgot to say… Sunday. It was a scorcher and after a a hot few days the sea side seemed the place to go. Then it dawned on me, Sunday drivers, hot weather, Norfolk coast. Nah.. I love the Norfolk coast but not when its chock full of tourists and locals and the volume of traffic would be immense. I’ve been wanting to go to bewilderwood for some time. Scott and I needed some quality US time just hanging out with each other being happy. I decided not to call the family to supply kids for us to go adventuring with.

This was a small mistake. Once we got in we realised that this was meant for 10 year olds. We appeared to be the only two adults there without any children. Still though, after settling in and taking a good look around we decided to join in. We walked all over the climbing castles all made out of wood, had a go on the zip wires and large fast slides and shook the rope bridges putting each other off our stride. They have catered for kids so very well, from 3 to 14 it would be fantastic, lots of things to climb all over, and very creatively put together. So many kids there looked very happy. The ticket price was a bit steep at £10 per adult but I can see why it was worth it with kids. There was a cooling breeze bringing a slight smell of the coast and the entire adventure park is built under the shade of a forest. It was just the best place to be in the heat and after letting go of the fact we were totally behaving like we’d just regressed to the age of 10 we enjoyed every minute.

Absolutely one of the best ways to forget all your worries and take some time out to just be you and relax. We do have some photos, I’ll have to sort them out.

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Erasmus makes it to stuff on my cat…

July 30, 2008

He can be seen here in full pantage. I knew one day he would make it famous. Just a shame I could not show it to him. Not that he would have understood.

Problem is, I did some time back send that photo to stuff on my cat, and it never got published. At least I had chance to comment on the bottom of the thread to show that he was happy, and that I was wearing something.

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where was I?

July 28, 2008

up, down, and round in circles. Super busy and slightly worried. I’ve struggled a little to cope with the current situation. I have achieved lots but I have paid in emotions for it. Firstly wedding things:

The favours arrived Saturday morning. LOVE them. I’ve booked my hair appointment, spoken to the market florist and booked in when I need to go and order and collect flowers. This gives me the most time to get any felted flowers that I want to use sorted. I’ve made felt, started making the flowers, wrapped most of the stems with their first layer of yarn and completed 4 flowers and broke all my current felting needles. I’ve lost my stash of them so I need to get some new ones soon. I’m not wanting to take any photos at the moment. I may fall totally out of love with them and just arrange my own bouquet on the day. I’ve got ribbon to hold it all together and wire. I’ve bought some makeup and am generally getting it all under control. Slowly, carefully and with the least stress possible.

Mum joined me at a dress fitting on Saturday, except I did not try it on because it was chock full of pins, but all cut out in the silk. She loved it, I love it. bla bla *insert several hours about my design and the dress makers ability to bring that out with full detail about the colours and shapes, the drape and cut* Sorry, I also do not feel like spilling the beans on this either. This is because nobody except me, Mum, Dad and my dress maker know exactly what it is going to look like on. I quite like that. I’ve got a good secret and I would like it to be something very very special. Here’s hoping everyone agrees with my mum who said I will look like a princess on my wedding day. Of course its what I always wanted, two other things were said: quirky and its very me. I just hope its as flattering as my heart is set on. I’m aware of my shape and I hope I have done the best with what I have.

Work have been wonderful with the current situation. I need to spend what quality time I have possible left with mum. This also means taking time off that I was not expecting to take. I saw it coming and my state of mind also needed the break required to make sure I was not going to have a nervous break down in work partly due to worry. Anyway, I had last Thursday off as compassionate leave to assist mum. I have to take this Thursday too. I will not know if this is the right thing to do until long after mum is gone, and believe me I have personally questioned every single permutation of what I should do, how I should be doing it and why. I have mentally questioned every step, every choice, and realised that I cant look any further ahead than the next couple of days and definitely not past the wedding itself. Plus as this is now less than a month away I may not be shitting bricks as such but I am suitably edgy.

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Things are movnig on.

July 21, 2008

Friday was another day in Cambridge for work. Then back to Norwich for a short stint of out of hours work on Saturday morning. Everything went fine which is a great relief.

After that I met my sister and niece in town. We had a good old stomp around getting dresses sorted for the big day. I love the one my sister has got but she would like something a bit more gown like rather than an evening dress that could be worn for work sort of thing. I’m all for getting the most use out of things. Anyway, it was lovely and I enjoyed it loads except after a few hours my foot started to swell up again. After getting home and letting the kids play on the PS3 for a while my sister left and I got ready to head to the dress maker again.

All is looking very good in that department too. It is all starting to take shape and look very beautiful indeed, even though its all just mocked up in cotton right now. What with the foot pain and running around all day I struggled to stay chirpy and it rather hit me that I want and need my mum there with me for this. I love my ideas but I just want someone Else’s opinion on my dress and the one that counts more than any other for my wedding dress is my mums opinion. I’ve spoken to her about it and we will try and arrange a fitting around her.

Because of the swollen foot and general lack of good quality sleep over the past week I spent Sunday at home trying to achieve something, anything. Eggy bread brioche was a great start, warm, comforting and very tasty. I got out my felting kit and started on my flowers. I now have most of my stems pre-cut. around 1/3 are 1st stage wrapped. 1 is finished and one is near finished. The rest are still wires just dangling about. The good thing is I can weave them all in and out of each other and they will strengthen each other up and provide a handle without any other support. I wish I could explain better or show you but that would spoil the effect on the day. Then I made a Sunday roast with roasted veg and garlic and onions and peppers, mushrooms, potatoes and broccoli. Lashings of gravy and a quorn roast thingy. Heaven.

Finally today I paid off the honeymoon *ouch* and I found the favours which I think are just the right thing for us, and not as expensive as elsewhere I have found them on the net. Seed sticks will hopefully go down well.

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cats and spiders

July 17, 2008

YAY! now on to something much more light hearted.

Knitting:

socks are failing. I started a pair of Colinette jitterbug socks. I just cant get the gauge right. I will have to undo again and start again. I also cant decide on a pattern because I want to design my own. Overall I’m not too worried about doing them as I have lots more other things to do.

knitted shrug: I started a shrug with Colinette Tao, having spent around £80 on the 6 balls of pure silk. Its Delicious to work with and very enjoyable knit. So far I started with a pattern but greatly changed it as I went along. Its top down raglan and I am still yet to take photos of the progress. I have one ball hanging off the waist band and two hanging off the sleeves so that I can try it on as it is knit up so that it will fit as I knit. It gets very complicated keeping all 3 sections live and swapping over needles to work on each section. I’ve done the sleeves like I do socks, splitting under and over arm over two needles doing both at the same time so that they match.

started on my flowers

I’ve wrapped 7 wire stems in wool. That is all. I made some felt at the weekend, the hard work starts soon with double wrapping the stems with fiber and creating the petals ready for construction. Looks like Glue will be my friend in parts of this process but hopefully not that much that you will ever see it.

Now on to our darlings.

Last night I was just about to go to bed and brushing my teefs, I spotted a spider. Jasper was in the shower as usual cooling his nethers on the floor tray. Otis was looking around but missing it. I picked up Otis because he is the faster and more alert and pointed him at the spider. He missed it, I made the spider move, wished it a few good prayers and then pointed Otis at it again.

Otis chased it in to the corner and played with it. Sniffed it and used it as a toy, pouncing but being gentle enough that it was still able to try and make an escape. By this point Jasper’s interest was piqued. He came to join in and took over. He waddles and is quite clumsy with his size. He played a little but because of his very indelicate touch, soon dispatched the spider. pushing it around and then under the bath mat, he sat on it. I released the now soul bereft carcass of a spider from under the mat. Otis took over and tried playing again. On realising it was no longer he did what Otis always does and eats it first before anyone else gets a chance. They still looked for it after, giving me the look of where has my toy gone? These cats are great. I just love them and although I’ve never loved spiders I do not intentionally kill them myself but I will let my cats do it. It may sound mean but they are meat eaters and deserve a live toy or two occasionally because we don’t let them out. I’m very very glad I never get presents brought to me, and I suppose hopefully this will mean what presents they could bring will be eaten first before they have the chance.

One final thing, One of my LOVELY work colleagues whom I can definitely call a wonderful friend is arranging my hen party entirely for me so I don’t have to think about it. How cool is that? Vereh.

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Total honesty.

July 17, 2008

I’ve been hesitating at writing this post. Its a difficult one to write. I’d like to fill it with frivolities but sorry I cant. I do have a lot on my mind and those who read often know I have a trying time ahead. Not just the wedding, this is about mum. If you don’t want to end up in tears or deeply upset by my honesty and hers please go read something else and come back when I eventually can fill this blog with cat or knitting content.

Mum called on Tuesday night, she had some fresh results back. The cancer has spread to many parts of her body including her brain. Our chat then was reasonably brief. Mum had an appointment with McMillan care and they have been through what needs to be done. Because of these changes mum is now back on chemotherapy and much thanks to the McMillan care, they and her doctors have secured her a drug which is usually used for ovarian cancers which will hopefully ease things for her. They have also booked her in for radio therapy on a part of her neck that is causing discomfort and radio therapy for the brain as soon after the wedding. The reality hit, its not will they ever cure it any more. It never really was. Now it is how long she has left and making that time quality time and as enjoyable as possible.

Mum has been totally and completely honest with me, my brother and my sister. Both my parents have gone through the decision making process for what is entailed in mums imminent future, care and support have been arranged. They are very glad to have this option, I am also as supportive as possible and the one thing it has done is bring our family even closer together. We all know what is coming, it is slightly comforting to have knowledge of what is coming. It is also heart rending and worrying and very very scary to hear the treatments mum is having to go through. Morning injections, struggling for breath, watching her body deteriorate and give up on her as she remains fully cognisant and still very sharp of mind. She may rattle with drugs but she is still able to slowly sew my bolero for my wedding day. She wants to, she needs to and it is another thing to keep her going. We are all trying to ease her burden but some things are to her achievable and to be supported.

Last night we spoke again and she was breathless but sounded upbeat because she has full choice of her actions in to her last months. I fully appreciate her honesty and it is nice to be able to show her my full love without any boundaries whilst discussing the eventful future. Yes it has upset me and yesterday was one of the hardest days at work I have ever had to deal with. Telling people in my office because I feel like I need to share and also it means some point soon I will want and have to take some compassionate leave, I feel better for discussing it and making them aware of why I will be up and down. I’ve not told everybody but I have been honest and responsible with sharing.

The chat last night helped calm me and make me understand that we are all doing everything we can to be everything she could ever have wished for in a family, as her children, and as loved ones. Still no matter what they do to her body she is happy, she says shes had a charmed life and is very grateful for what has been given to her, and she will fight for every last second of joy that can be bestowed upon her. I support her in this and will sing her praises for her amazing strength in dealing with the cards given to her and dad, I will never forget my wonderful very loving dad who is her rock in all storms.

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mc limpy reporting for duty.

July 14, 2008

Thursday I drove over to Cambridge and managed to do a whole days work and still borrow a colleagues bus pass to get in to Cambridge. I needed to get to the mac store. My mac is now fully fixed with a new working battery YAY! and all for free because it was on a re-call list. Knit night seemed too much of a bind and I needed to rest.

Friday was a bit frustrating. I had to drive in to the office and drive home. It was easier than walking. I really did myself some damage. At least not enough to stop me working or doing much. I went to the walk in center on Thursday night and they confirmed it was ok but would take 4 to 6 weeks to heal. Just a bit worrying as I’m getting married in 6 weeks now, or is it 5… I’m confused.
Saturday was spent on the sofa bimbling about and achieving very little. The whole day rest was worth it because after hurting my toe it swelled up and this gave it a chance to calm down a little.
Yesterday I visited mum and dad, stole some lettuce and played with the twins. Tried on my bolero and sat out in the sun in their garden. Much fun.
I wish I had more to say but I’ve got to get my head in to my work. I’ve got Cambridge to look after still, and I must get serious about finalising weddingy things. I’m a bit flummoxed by it all right now. Almost scared that its all going to go tits up. I’m lost, confused and just cant wait for my honeymoon. I need the holiday now!