where was I?July 28, 2008
up, down, and round in circles. Super busy and slightly worried. I’ve struggled a little to cope with the current situation. I have achieved lots but I have paid in emotions for it. Firstly wedding things:
The favours arrived Saturday morning. LOVE them. I’ve booked my hair appointment, spoken to the market florist and booked in when I need to go and order and collect flowers. This gives me the most time to get any felted flowers that I want to use sorted. I’ve made felt, started making the flowers, wrapped most of the stems with their first layer of yarn and completed 4 flowers and broke all my current felting needles. I’ve lost my stash of them so I need to get some new ones soon. I’m not wanting to take any photos at the moment. I may fall totally out of love with them and just arrange my own bouquet on the day. I’ve got ribbon to hold it all together and wire. I’ve bought some makeup and am generally getting it all under control. Slowly, carefully and with the least stress possible.
Mum joined me at a dress fitting on Saturday, except I did not try it on because it was chock full of pins, but all cut out in the silk. She loved it, I love it. bla bla *insert several hours about my design and the dress makers ability to bring that out with full detail about the colours and shapes, the drape and cut* Sorry, I also do not feel like spilling the beans on this either. This is because nobody except me, Mum, Dad and my dress maker know exactly what it is going to look like on. I quite like that. I’ve got a good secret and I would like it to be something very very special. Here’s hoping everyone agrees with my mum who said I will look like a princess on my wedding day. Of course its what I always wanted, two other things were said: quirky and its very me. I just hope its as flattering as my heart is set on. I’m aware of my shape and I hope I have done the best with what I have.
Work have been wonderful with the current situation. I need to spend what quality time I have possible left with mum. This also means taking time off that I was not expecting to take. I saw it coming and my state of mind also needed the break required to make sure I was not going to have a nervous break down in work partly due to worry. Anyway, I had last Thursday off as compassionate leave to assist mum. I have to take this Thursday too. I will not know if this is the right thing to do until long after mum is gone, and believe me I have personally questioned every single permutation of what I should do, how I should be doing it and why. I have mentally questioned every step, every choice, and realised that I cant look any further ahead than the next couple of days and definitely not past the wedding itself. Plus as this is now less than a month away I may not be shitting bricks as such but I am suitably edgy.