hi, I’m jiva

January 14, 2009

and I’m a lazy blogger. To be completely honest I’m rather a wreck at the moment. Head wise.

I’m doing everything as normal and achieving a days work and keeping just about on top of the cooking and maybe not the cleaning but hey nobody is counting and I can always blame it on the cats. Otherwise in my head I think I’m a bit screwed up right now. Slightly emotionally unstable, tired ALL the time, eye twitches and stress levels high although nothing has really changed at all, so I cant see why I am slowly nagging myself in to a mental hatred of myself meaning what ever I do I’m disappointed with me, just me and nothing else. I’m even annoyed with myself for feeling this way. One vicious circle complete.

Scotty had a bit of a cold at the end of last week so we’ve been on tick over trying to relax but keep on top of things. He’s still lovely and keeps telling me I’m great and it sorta sinks in when he does. Just I wish I could feel joyous and bouncy and life filled. Instead because we both felt crappy we watched lots of films at the weekend including Iron man – liked it, and hellboy 1 and 2 – seen 1 before and love 2 now too.

I’ve finished the pink scarf for Eve but I’m yet to wash and block it because I’ve not properly blocked anything before.

I used up some of the carded bats of merinio fiber I bought for felting by knitting direct from draft. Hard work on the fingers and although I love the colours of what I knitted – a hat, it is slightly too tight and small for me. I seem to always forget how big my head is. If only it would shrink in size like my ego does. Plus because its direct from draft it’s mighty fluffy and could probably do with felting. I see a felted bowl coming because it was knit on 8mm needles with a chunky style it will probably be too thick when felted and too small for any normal human.

No photos at the moment. Its just tooooooooooo (mega emphasis) grey out there. I’m sure this is also effecting my outlook on things.  Anyway before I make anyone who reads this want to cry and pity themselves too, I’d better shake myself out of it.

Roll on the holiday season. I need to get something booked SOON.


  1. Believe Scotty, he’s completely right, you’re a wonderful person. But a) its winter b) you’ve recently lost your Mum and c) you’re still getting over the stresses and highs of your wedding.

    So, be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else in your position – pretend you’re a friend and treat yourself as you would treat a friend who feels like you do at the moment.

    And f**k the cleaning!


  2. You are not a lazy blogger… I am a lazy blogger 😦

    Should we make a definite plan for a pub knit this weekend? I have missed you at knitting! (and then I was lazy and didn’t go tonight)

    Hope you are having a fab 2009 since the first month is nearly gone (sigh).


    • yes please! 😀

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