Archive for February 2nd, 2009

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where the world turns slightly upside down.

February 2, 2009

or just slightly askew.

knit night was great fun. Although it turned out nothing like it should do. AM, my friend called so I went to pick her up and go knitting. We spent over 45 minutes driving around trying to get parked in the forum car park. In the end we gave up and went home. This did not stop us still staying out an enjoying ourselves. I parked back home and we walked to hers. Had knitting time and home cooked pizza by her lovely husband. I was plied with a couple of beers which was nice but it also meant I nearly took the blurt all your troubles out route before I stopped myself mid sentence. Anyway it was  a lovely evening and my friends are great at cheering me up.

I went to the doctors Friday morning and tried to be as honest as possible. I had to mention work as well as home and the sinusitis and my emotions. We discussed the pill which is about the only thing going right with my body at the moment. Anyway he has plied me with antibiotics and nose drops that have to be placed in upside down. I discussed my current mood situation and he was properly understanding and said that its not worth giving me pills (thank goodness) he said it was like the early stages of depression but I would be best to speak to someone and take some time out to re-assess, catch up and place myself in a situation where it does not make me feel like I’m drowning just trying to catch up. He also explained that my sphenoidal sinuses were the ones infected which is why I’m getting tinnitus and dizziness and occasional queasiness. Here’s the shocker and I was thoroughly shocked when he said so, I’ve been signed off work for a week. I went home, called work and arranged it all. popped in to the office by car and gave in my keys and cleared all my work for colleagues to complete. I got home and did a little pottering about and knitted some socks. I’m still in shock now to have the time off sudenly left with time to think about what I need to do.

I know I need to rest mostly and get well, I also need to think about why I feel bad, which also means what are my plans for the future and why do I feel so lost. I did tell my doc about this blog and he said its a good thing, so I’m hoping you good readers wont mind me going in to the whole thing whilst I go through it. I’m hoping it will help me, and you never know, keeping it public may help someone else. we’ll see. I may chicken out like I did with the honeymoon. I’ve still got 20 odd drafts from that. One thing I do know, If I had my health right now I’d find it easier. I do feel  little like I don’t know where I’m heading right now but I need to either accept it or find direction to aim. These feel like they may be big life choices.

So with Scotty by my side for support and someone to enjoy time with Saturday we gotout of the house and went and got a new microwave, cat food and a new shower head. All done within 2 hours and with little fuss. We nipped to Comet and found an ex display model reduced, then Scotty used some vouchers he got from work so we ended up paying £90 for a £250 microwave oven combi thing. Bargain!

I woke up feeling a bit rough again on Sunday but I tried to shake it off so went shopping for pressies for me. why? cos its my birthday on Friday which I already booked as holiday. We stayed out for a lovely wagamamas lunch and Scotty got me some chilli chocolate, a knitting book and a ghibli film. Once we got back I collapsed and had a nap. The cold had got to my sinuses and it felt like someone had a vice grip on my head.

Today trying to sort out what I am about. I’ve got a feeling some lists are coming on. What needs to be done, what I want to do, what takes time. what I can accept, what I cant.

One thing is true, I’m not going out in that snow today. Its beautiful  but I cant risk the sore head.