Archive for the ‘contains swearing’ Category



July 16, 2007

I am a moose without wings, I glide silently through the streets of Manchester on a vacuum cleaner made of frosted glass, I deliver milk to house-bound spinsters, I take away the used bandages from the battlefields near the great tree planted by my fore fathers, I descend upon goats and replace their feet with pipe-cleaners. I manufacture porcelain spaniels for the domestic market, I once destroyed an entire stretch of the M3 with a single flick of my anus.

Interests & Hobbies:
scaling vertical walls with only the aid of a bottle of washing up liquid.
freestyle cardigan spinning.
allowing the excess steam from a dry cleaners to seep into my house to create an unpleasant odour, and stain the wallpaper if I’m lucky.

I like:
the b side of “making your mind up” by Bucks Fizz.
Eddie Stobbart’s ear ring collection.
the Southampton Municipal golf course.
certain parts of the cysteine chapel.

This is quoted from the b3ta profile belonging to my other half.

Hopefully this will go some way in to explaining how strange we are, how in love we are, and how wonderful life is with him next to me. He entertains me, makes me feel wanted, intelligent, supported and loved and above all we laugh together. I apreciate him in so many ways I can’t even write them down. So here’s to having someone worth loving and sharing it all with because one day next year, once I get organized he’s going to be mine all mine.


quantum sockmathics, you bastard would be proud*

June 26, 2007

I promised knitting updates, it may be a little tardy but here it is:

1, Pacific silk scarf

This border and the main pattern are individual items from Victorian Lace Today. A stunning book. I’ve knitted up the scarf on 5.5cm needles, addi turbos are quite fantastic. Its a size or two larger than the pattern requests but as its silk it would not have any stretch unless I went up a size.

My aim for this is to try and block it after completing and mount on a plain double thick silk cloth, something that will complement it, or at least not detract from the pattern. Also having it sewn on to fabric will make sure the pattern holds out. I think the border would be best hanging loose at the bottom of the fabric. we’ll see. My talents at sewing are quite minimal so it may be all a practice in frustration rather than achievement.

Over all I’m quite happy with it, it won’t be ripped out. I just have to keep Erasmus away from that wooden needle. He’s desperate to chew on it. which would be followed by an epic NNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! of star-wars Darth Vader proportions.

Now on to Bayerische… I’m happy with these. they look great, the knitting gets easier on them, although I’m still not quite sure what to do, socks or mits, socks or mits, mocks or sh…. maybe not.

As you can see here there is quite a lot of wool left. I must admit I’m not that far on. I’m hedging my bets and I do have another slightly lighter ball in waiting ready to transfer on to. At least with all the changes in colour it may not make any difference with a new lighter ball. As you can see here the roving is more white on right one and more pink on the left. I’ve given up thinking this is an issue. This is what using variegated colours is about.

I hear you’re starting to ask the question though, what is quantum sockmathics and why do you mention it?

well I think its best I write down what I want to do, and why not here rather than anywhere else. I’m doing the maths right here and now, so here’s hoping its followable and useful to others.

I’m using 2mm dpn’s for the whatevers.

one needle weighs: *gets out digi scales* 1.6g, that means per sock 3 needles are: 4.8g

Sock 1, the bigger of the two weighs: 17.2g

sock 2, the smaller weighs: 15.4g (exactly 2 repeats of pattern)

Now remove the 4.8g (3 needles) from each sock: 12.4g and 10.6g respectively

Weight of the remaining ball of yarn is……. wait for it 64.2g

Add all the yarny bits together. 87.2g.

The ball is 400 yards each item should be 200 yards and 43.6g

to figure out what percentage of each sock I have completed…

(12.4 x 100) /43.6 = 28.4% complete on sock 1. That also means I’ve only knitted just around 56.8 YARDS of yarn on the larger of the two socks.

To be honest, its not worth working out the other sock.

This leads me to believe that I should be able to get both socks done on the same ball of wool. I have just compared the sock 1 to my foot and it almost completes 1/3. I’ts going to be a tight squeeze but maybe I’ll just keep knitting and see what happens. I am dreading the point of turning a heel, which I have very little experience of, and finding I cant squeeze it on my foot. If this happens expect swearing shouting ripping and a pair of small wrist warmers.

* reference to all those terry pratchet readers out there.