Archive for the ‘about me’ Category



March 4, 2009

Last Wednesday Dad came over for dinner in the evening and Scotty and I went out for food with him. It was delicious Italian and very rich but I suffered all night because of that and a small helping of vino. Since then I’ve been working my socks off. I earned toil and had Friday afternoon off work. This was most exciting because AM also had the afternoon working from home. So instead we went to my house and watched Sweeney Todd again. Knitted quite a bit and I’ve nearly finished another pair of socks that I’ve completely forgotten to take any photos of or tell you about. These are strangely made with courtelle. I’m experimenting with different yarns to see which ones last the longest and wear well. I can even wear through wool nylon mix socks after 3 to 6 months wear. Plus the more socks I knit, the more home made socks go in to rotation so they all don’t get warn down quite so much.

So, that’s Dad and knitting covered. I won a competition to win YARN. Which are just about the best competitions out there in the whole wide world. I put a caption to a picture. They said I won and some lovely Irish Kilcarra yarn. I am wearing it as a skein scarf right now to keep me warm. It arrived at work this morning and made me squee with joy. I just wish I had washing details, I want to know if it felts or not before I use it. Ravelry is not saying and neither are any of the supplier web sites.

Finally I’d like to mention work. I struggle with this subject because sometimes there are business requirements that mean I need to keep my lips zipped. In this case I should be fine. So far this week the backup tape drive failed for the office, followed by the air conditioning failing in the server room followed by the phone system failing due to over heating battery supplies to the phone system which was in turn caused by the aircon outage. I’ve got a new PC for someone every day this week and normal work load too. Then the office manager is not well, I wish her the best and hope she can come back soon because between me her and our part time building maintenance we’re all that is keeping the office building together. R the maintenance guy is great and helpful and we work well together except because he has other out of hours jobs to do about the building he can only be in until 12 during the day. So this week I’ve been helping out, trying to smooth over the bumps and provide a service so that nobody notices the cracks and failures. So far so good. The only slight niggle is I’m sure because nobody notices the swan paddling underneath to keep things afloat, everyone just looks over and thinks I’m just sitting here. I’m sure that is not the case but still because I don’t know what the other half of the office are doing I’m sure as hell they don’t know the half of what goes on here either. Time will tell. I just hate having to report every movement back so that the right managers know I just fished them out of another what could have been a catastrophe, or not… we’ll never know.

I was going to try and apply for another job. I’m very sorry to say I was lax and lazy and never got the application finished in time for the deadline. Maybe I didn’t do it for a reason. I think I still like this job too much to let go.

Oh and Scotty and I went out for a celebratory dinner on Saturday night and ate so much bento and sushi we nearly exploded. We went to see my photos up at castle mall and we were very happy with the results so decided to enjoy a saturday night out for once. Well worth doing except we both spend Sunday with what felt like a half migrane half beating. Thank goodness for Wall-E on blue ray, big blankets and a comfortable sofa.


a not so secret project

February 25, 2009

One of the not so hidden projects at the moment was to get some of my photos from Flickr and print them.

The reason was a lovely man who works at Castle mall in Norwich had a free shop space and instead of leaving it empty he’s had it painted white and is giving it up free of charge to Norwich Flickr members to post up their own photos.

The brief was to produce some photos of Norwich for all to see. The weather has been terrible recently so all of these photos had to come from the back stash that I have in Flickr.

The lovely man, Rob is his name, asked the whole norwich flickr group, now 9 people have made the effort, to frame our photos and get them to him by Friday. Some have done Norfolk, some just arty shots, and some entirely just Norwich like me.

My photos got there at lunch time today, I did 6 framed 14 by 11 inch frames with 10 by 7 inch prints in them. I must admit I did a really lazy framing job but they still look nice. I met Rob at lunch time and another of the flickr members putting up his pictures. I’m super excited by this and its the first time I’ve ever been hung in a gallery, in any form!

This saturday night, for friends, family, us and anyone else who are well wishers are welcome to come along to the gallery open evening. From 6pm till 9pm at the back on the upper floor of castle mall.

WOO! its a good start, I doubt I’ll ever get famous for it but at least I can say I’ve been in a gallery! Here’s a link to the 6 items I used. My theme: Look up look down in Norwich. A small foray in to alternative views of our city.


busy busy

February 22, 2009

work is. I’m just keeping on top of it and doing it all well.

Scotty and I had a wonderful valentines. Friday night on the way home from work I popped in to the local beauty place and booked in a massage amazingly for 9.10 am on Saturday. I told Scotty when I got in, he said it was a perfect valentines gift and promptly paid for it. Hoorah!

Saturday we went shopping for HOURS. Stopped off for a pret lunch and succeeded in purchasing clothes for the both of us. Firstly I purchased hopefully my last knitting book for some time. I think I have everything I need now to get something knitted. Shame that I’ve not picked up the needles since last weeks knitting club. *le sigh* my mojo has taken a sabatical and not informed me.

I purchased 3 new skirts, 3 new tops and a pair of trousers. Got them all home and tried them on and they all fit fine. Except one skirt zip was broken. Scotty got two new work shirts.

In the useful things I need department we bought a garlic press. One with a rubbery side to clean it, it works. We’ve had garlic nearly every day this week so I could thoroughly test it.

Sunday, Scotty made more fresh bread and I started on the home paperwork. It is still lying in a mess on the spare room table down stairs. I “borrowed” or liberated some old folders from the office to re-file and start from fresh with some of our personal data, like bank accounts, bills, all that TON of paperwork that accumulates enough to make a large bonfire. All recycled including the work folders.

Monday I had lunch with a work friend. 5 years doing the same job in the same team and I’d never met him. We got on well but we’ve been chatting like mates for years anyway. I also took back broken skirt.

Tuesday I made my own lunch with the baked bread. I class that as a “happy lunch”

Wednesday I was meant to meet Dad for lunch but I had to cancel. Good job because he was helping my sister after she’s just moved house. They have been waiting months to move and are also waiting on a new puppy to arrive. They have completed and moved just in time. New puppy arrives on Friday YAY!

I went to put on my new posh trousers for work and bent over to stroke Jasper. *rip* the bottom fell out of my world, or at least I was gaping where a woman should never gape. *sigh* Trousers changed and left on the bed to be coated in cat hair before taking them back.

Thursday Dad did pop over but we only got to chat fo 15 minutes or so. It was nice to see him before he went away for the weekend. He’s taking my nieces and nephews and my brother is going too. Its all go in our family! I took back the trousers and found some nice other ones. These I tried on at home and they are HUGE. Its nice to feel slim but I swear this size was completely miss-labeled. I checked and it was my size. These will also have to go back.

I picked up AM and we went to knitting club. Much fun was had and I gave her and her lovely husband a lift home again.

Friday was Scotty’s birthday. I baked him a cake and we went out to the prison ( a great viewpoint place in Norwich) to take a few photos of the view with Scotty’s new wide angle lens We also said hello to Erasmus where we scattered him. He also loves the drawing pens and drawing pad I got him. I paid some towards his lens too. He also got a jelly bean machine from Dad and some coffee cups and a chocolate shaker to go with the coffee stuff.

Saturday Scotty and I took cake and flowers to my sister at her new house. They were waiting for their new cooker to arrive. Once it arrived it had to be connected. After some staring at the wiring M finally figured it out and got the contraption working correctly. Hoorah! A brief trip in to Holt for some new magnetic saucepans my sister whipped up a veggie lasagna and baked potatoes. It was perfection and extremely tasty. The cooker past muster and was proclaimed a success.

now its taken me over a week to post I have had to keep adding to it to keep up. I’m not sure right now I want to keep this up. I do love blogging but I can see up until the end of March I’m going to be quiet on the airwaves at work. I’m too busy and hoping to enjoy getting my head down and working hard. If I do get blogging time at home as well as catching up with Internets at home I’ll pop by. Just don’t get upset if I’m illusive in the near future. I’ve not forgotten anyone, I’m not hiding because I’m sad. I’m happy, I’ve just got a lot to do and something has to give for me to achieve the things I want. Anyway whats the betting now I’ve said this I’ll blab 3 or 4 posts this week alone. 😉 you’ll just never know and neither will I until it happens. I just have to try to make things happen and sitting here typing a blog post is not getting that other thing done…..


where the world turns slightly upside down.

February 2, 2009

or just slightly askew.

knit night was great fun. Although it turned out nothing like it should do. AM, my friend called so I went to pick her up and go knitting. We spent over 45 minutes driving around trying to get parked in the forum car park. In the end we gave up and went home. This did not stop us still staying out an enjoying ourselves. I parked back home and we walked to hers. Had knitting time and home cooked pizza by her lovely husband. I was plied with a couple of beers which was nice but it also meant I nearly took the blurt all your troubles out route before I stopped myself mid sentence. Anyway it was  a lovely evening and my friends are great at cheering me up.

I went to the doctors Friday morning and tried to be as honest as possible. I had to mention work as well as home and the sinusitis and my emotions. We discussed the pill which is about the only thing going right with my body at the moment. Anyway he has plied me with antibiotics and nose drops that have to be placed in upside down. I discussed my current mood situation and he was properly understanding and said that its not worth giving me pills (thank goodness) he said it was like the early stages of depression but I would be best to speak to someone and take some time out to re-assess, catch up and place myself in a situation where it does not make me feel like I’m drowning just trying to catch up. He also explained that my sphenoidal sinuses were the ones infected which is why I’m getting tinnitus and dizziness and occasional queasiness. Here’s the shocker and I was thoroughly shocked when he said so, I’ve been signed off work for a week. I went home, called work and arranged it all. popped in to the office by car and gave in my keys and cleared all my work for colleagues to complete. I got home and did a little pottering about and knitted some socks. I’m still in shock now to have the time off sudenly left with time to think about what I need to do.

I know I need to rest mostly and get well, I also need to think about why I feel bad, which also means what are my plans for the future and why do I feel so lost. I did tell my doc about this blog and he said its a good thing, so I’m hoping you good readers wont mind me going in to the whole thing whilst I go through it. I’m hoping it will help me, and you never know, keeping it public may help someone else. we’ll see. I may chicken out like I did with the honeymoon. I’ve still got 20 odd drafts from that. One thing I do know, If I had my health right now I’d find it easier. I do feel  little like I don’t know where I’m heading right now but I need to either accept it or find direction to aim. These feel like they may be big life choices.

So with Scotty by my side for support and someone to enjoy time with Saturday we gotout of the house and went and got a new microwave, cat food and a new shower head. All done within 2 hours and with little fuss. We nipped to Comet and found an ex display model reduced, then Scotty used some vouchers he got from work so we ended up paying £90 for a £250 microwave oven combi thing. Bargain!

I woke up feeling a bit rough again on Sunday but I tried to shake it off so went shopping for pressies for me. why? cos its my birthday on Friday which I already booked as holiday. We stayed out for a lovely wagamamas lunch and Scotty got me some chilli chocolate, a knitting book and a ghibli film. Once we got back I collapsed and had a nap. The cold had got to my sinuses and it felt like someone had a vice grip on my head.

Today trying to sort out what I am about. I’ve got a feeling some lists are coming on. What needs to be done, what I want to do, what takes time. what I can accept, what I cant.

One thing is true, I’m not going out in that snow today. Its beautiful  but I cant risk the sore head.


denial is no great river.

January 27, 2009

I’ve not blogged about it because its moaning. I’ve got sinusitis. It seems I get it every year. So far now since getting a cold after Christmas I cant remember a day that I’ve not had a headache, tired eyes and that nagging feeling that you should be ill enough to take a day off work but you know you can make it in so you bother and feel poo sitting at a desk all day.
So I need to do something about it because denying it exists is not working. Having to take pain killers at least once a day every day because its given me nose sores, sinus pressure and to top it all off buzzing ears which are partially blocked. Still I’m well enough to drag myself in to work but not well enough to manage to hide my sinus hell to my colleagues. I have booked a doctors appointment but that is on Friday so I’ve got some wait yet. Here’s hoping it all magically disappears before I get to see him. Still it does not help the depression. I just cant seem to cheer up. I think I needs some more good things to look forward to and some nice happy treats. Still they’re never going to appear unless I organize them myself and who wants to do that when you feel like chum. I know its all boo hoo woes me, I hate myself for doing it but it still is fact I’m no where near who I want to be just because I cant seem to muster any joy or happiness, or even just feel well. Thank god for sock knitting. Which I will update you on soon.

There is some good news. I did finish the aprons I was making for the twins birthday. They loved them, along with some pots and pans and cooking things to go with the new wendy house with cooker sink and washing machine that they got from other family members. The party on Saturday was great. We had a lovely time. So nice in fact I forgot to take any photos what so ever. We were meant to stay over and have a drink or two but yet again because of my ills we came home and did not have a drink.

I know I’m not making life easy for Scotty either. I just hope it never breaks us. I still love him and want to be with him, just hanging around with someone who struggles to even smile must be no fun at all for him.


I was planning

January 8, 2009

on doing a knitting post soon. I still need to finish one object, wash and block it and photograph it. Then I also need to get a photo of dad in his scarf. So I am trying to get there but I don’t see the point in being half arsed about it and not doing it all together.

Anyway on the good news front the dentists was way way better than expected. I’m almost jumping with joy at how well it went. No injections, no pain killers. All he did was very delicately remove the old filling and stick in a new one. No drilling of actual tooth matter at all. He also fitted it so well he tested to make sure I could floss properly around it which did not happen last time. It’s still an amalgam filling but better than a decaying one. Then to make things even better he said there was no point having any other fillings yet, the others may not need doing if I keep looking after my teeth properly YAY! see you in 6 months DOUBLE YAY! I wanted to kiss the guy but, I’m quite reserved and still English so I just said thank you and that he did a great job. He’s made me a lot less scared of the dentist and I know he’s not going to do any work unless absolutely necessary. Not like the last one saying I needed a further 4 fillings, 6 years ago. Thank god I did not go back there.

I’ve shown you a couple of the videos i’ve got so far with my new canon ixus camera. I’m going to try and keep them all tagged together in Flickr. Click the link to see catty goodness in the forms of Otis, Jasper and our neighbours cat Mr Shouty. We’ve still not got his real name but I do think our name for him suits him fine.

I hope to get more videos soon too, and more photos. I just have to wait for a chance in daylight, which is still rather lacking around this part of the world. The daylight hours are definitely getting longer but its still dark most of the time, or grey.

Hopefully its knit night tonight 🙂


in which loins are girded but not needed.

January 6, 2009

Le sigh.

I told you before Christmas I needed my filling replaced. Well today I got up early and stomped through an icy city to get to the dentist on time for my appointment. Except it wasn’t. I did not sleep well. I’ve not been looking forward to it. I girded my loins and faced up to the fact I was going to have a numb mouth up until lunch time. Then when I’d walked for a good 25 minutes across town in -2 oC they told me my appointment was for Thursday not Tuesday.

I nearly cried when I left the dentist, with no work done. I then stomped all the way to work and arrived early so I got hold of some lovely warming porridge with banana. Now I’m super tired, slightly over strung and still wanting to cry because I have to go and do it all again. Plus my hips are aching from the cold. Roun trip of nearly 3 miles I think… ish. Or at least it felt like it.

I feel stupid, I am stupid and all it would have taken would have been a look in my handbag at the note they printed for me with the apointment on it. I’ll have to chalk this one down to check and double check before leaving the house.

I need a nap.


time out, just what was needed.

December 31, 2008

I’ve been off work since Christmas eve. I’m loving it, I’m getting stuff done and lazing about like no other. Just today I got up and had a cup of tea and now I’ve come back to bed. Its complete decadence and laziness but I have no need to be bouncing off the walls cleaning and tidying and trying to fit everything in.

On Christmas eve I nipped around to Sue and took some Christmas cards. I realized after I left I probably moaned far too much about work but made her feel like it was nice for her not to be there so she did not have to get all involved in the bla bla of it all. It was nice to see her again and good to hear she is healing well.

I made a nut roast. I actually thought I completely fluffed it by making it way too wet. I cooked it for over an hour. I used cashews, hazelnuts, brazil nuts, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds and bread crumbs. I made a vegetable layer with parsnips, butternut squash, garlic, shallots and pine nuts and herbs. I spread over a layer of cranberry and redcurrant sauce and dropped in some cooked chestnuts. I also made the cranberry and redcurrant sauce myself. I made it a few weeks back but it did not fully set. I bought another bag of cranberries and re-cooked the sauce and added a bit of cinnamon. It was divine, thick and gloopy too just how it should be.

Christmas day was lovely. Scotty and I headed over early to my brothers house. Early for us is getting there for 10am. The usual present swaps and hanging about playing with things occurred. Everyone loved every present from each person. We all made a great effort this year to get each other what we wanted and it all went down well. Dad was very very happy with his scarf and I am sad to say I did not get a photo with him wearing it. I will do at some point. He left it draped over his shoulders nearly all day. We scored lots of wonderful things, some of which have been photographed… If you take that link you’ll also find some of my current knitting progress 🙂

Scotty bought me a new camera YAY! I loved my little canon ixus. I needed one to replace it because I kept it on me at all times in my handbag and used it until it nearly died. I bought Scotty little big planet and forbidden lego. We came back with a metric tonne of chocolate and booze and a lovely box of very fattening biscuits. I got a paintable pig, Scotty got a “let the wookie win”lego t-shirt. I think its the first time in a few years where I’ve given so much but received so much too. I think we all paid less this year too. It was more the fact that the items we got were plentiful but large-ish so that it made our bags look fuller.

Lunch was wonderful. I was amazed how well the nut roast went down, it was cooked for another hour wrapped in foil. Everyone had some and my little niece Izzy had 3rd helpings of the cranberry and redcurrant sauce. I left the two jars there for everyone to fight out who would have them.

We played with the kids and their toys. Tommy getting a hot wheels auto ramp looping toy thing and Izzy with her baby anabelle. Ewan got lots of goodies as did Bethan. I tried on Bethan’s Koodie and she proclaimed that she adored it and wanted it finished. I was unsure of the shape but it went down so well even though it was an ad-hoc creation. I seem to be doing something right.

All in all we may have missed mum and there were a few lip wobbles, we all enjoyed it for her and we are proud to be together as a family.

I’m trying to break this up in to manageable chunks so the rest of our break will be covered in another post. Merry Christmas all, although belated I have thought of each of my lovely friends and readers (those of you I know come regularly). I do mean to keep in touch more but I have enjoyed this break not just from blogging but from bothering to send cards and keeping to any appointments at all. I’ve had nothing planned and it has worked out to be wise, relaxing and well worth doing. I hope nobody is offended by this and understands that sometimes, tuning out, switching off and detachment from the world is a really nice way to get mind body and spirit back on track ready for the new challenges of a new year.

more updates soon. I may even get around to some stories from our honeymoon next year!


I’m a bubble.

November 26, 2008

its true. Bubbletastic even. More on that later.

We had another long weekend so the last update you had may have been a bit down but come Thursday lunch time I had that Friday feeling and it all cheered up from there.

I went to knit night and was one of the last to leave requesting that the girls did not leave me finishing the last few stitches on my row, alone to the braying public that frequent the bar cafe at the forum. It was great fun as usual and I did a whole 5 rows of 456 stitches. WOOHOO! this scarf may just get done before Christmas.

Friday I bimbled about, knitting and started sewing too. I cut out some skirt fabric and started pinning it all together. The other exciting thing we did was online shopping to arrive on Saturday morning. Hoorah for home delivery I loves it. spectacularly little else to report there.

Saturday I drove over to Dad’s house and went a walk in the freezing horizontal hail which HURT when it hit you. We (me, dad, my sister, her husband and the two kids Ewan and Bethan) all went for a wonder around looking at stuffs, trying to decide if there was anything we could get in lovely Sheringham woolies. I did not manage to get anything but I wasn’t exactly looking hard for something particular. Dad rustled up a very tasty lunch and we all were happy. I stopped past my brother but did not stick around. They all have the lurgey and are falling to pieces. I drove home and did a little more sewing and whotnot.

Sunday Scotty and I built a snowman. The whole weekend was snowy and wintry and lovely. Which made me want to make another hot and spicy curry. Which I did of course. Firstly after the food delivery I had lots of milk. I made my own cheese! It was very fun, just boil milk and whilst boiling and not boiling over add something sour. I used some yoghurt, you can use lemon but I’m not so keen on lemony cheese. Stir until all the curds come away from the whey. Put in some muslin cloth and squish! It worked very well indeed so I made Matta Paneer, Toor dhal, rice and Scotty made some dough for chapatis. I rolled them and we both cooked them. Ah we make such a good team when we get to cook together.

Monday we went shopping and I bought NOTHING. *sigh* BUT Scotty did get some clothes for him and a two for £15 at HMV for blue ray DVD’s AND bought me lunch. So after doing a bit more sewing and relaxing after shopping we sat and watched WallE. I was not expecting to love it but I do. Oh yes, its a LOVELY movie and I would recommend it to be part of any family collection. The lack of words makes it suitable for anyone at all.

So yes, a perfect weekend, a bit cold but so much fun. And then…..Monday night urgh. Bubble. I don’t know quite what happened to me but I ended up with a bubbly tummy like no other and queasy too. I had to go and sleep in the spare room upright. It was bad all day at work. Luckily only ending in burptastic style and not going south. I was worried it would be worse and last longer but it appears to be all fine now.

One last thing, a big hug and lots of love to my big brother and his wife and the twins. 3 whole weeks of coughs, colds, flu, sickness and now burst ear drums and projectile vomit. I really do worry but I cant think of anything I can do to help except keep away and healthy….


mental or menthol

November 19, 2008

Apologies, heavy moaning and groaning ahead.

quietness has its reasons. The past week or even two or maybe right back to August I’ve been struggling. Feeling low and down and wanting to hide in a cuddly ball on the sofa safe with my knitting, my cats and even occasionally my husband.

I really don’t feel like I’ve dealt with anything yet. Days pass by and I’m lost under a cloud of just getting things done and getting home and mooching. Feeling completely useless, lost and seeing no point in going out or achieving much. Its not a nice place to be because once I get in one of these places I tend to beat myself up about it. The reason I’ve been like this are two fold. ONE: yesterday was my mums birthday. I thought I could handle it but I rather did not. The other thing conspired against me so I took the afternoon off as holiday and headed back to my sofa hole to be supported by cat therapy. TWO: The pill. Playing about with your hormones is no fun ok. So if you want to take the pill remember your rational mind just may take a great big holiday and leave you lost in a darkened pit of despair. I’ve lost a lot of the nicer side of me, or at least it feels like I have. Constantly worrying can I cope each day with just the emotional strain of talking to my family, friends or even just chilling on the sofa trying not to let the nice little voices in my head go round in circles telling me off for being worried, then whacking me with a prime bout of PMT or stomach cramps that are bigger and more painful than they ever where. Add on to that I’ve been taking a chart of when my periods are, they have become more frequent, less predictable, heavier and just garhgh.  Could I say any more to prove why I feel a complete mess?

Anyway, because of messness, I did spend the entire** weekend holed up on the sofa yet again enjoying watching Scotty play fallout 3 and knitting studiously. This is at least the one outlet I am able to achieve and thankfully it mostly stills my mind taking at least one portion of it to concentrate leaving me with another portion to reason things out instead of being completely nutso. Believe me I’ve tried chanting again at times and even that is not working at the moment. This also means I nearly have a finished pair of yoga socks and I’m nearly half way through dad’s scarf which will take 3 times longer than a normal scarf… why did I do it?
**ok I did achieve one thing. I cooked enough propper indian curry for two days worth of food.

Last night after struggling with all of the above I moved early on to the new pill the doctor gave me. No way I am living through a further 12 days of depression and anxiety which may be partly due to the pill (i’m on my 4th month of the stuff). If this one does not work I’m just going to go back to normal and stop messing about with my hormones. This is mainly for my notes but the old pill was Micronor and the new pill is Cerazette. They both do different things and I am aware of how they go about them. I just hope I’m not causing damage playing around with my mental and physical being to be able to do *things* (*ahem* you know) only to find it kills all feelings for that sort of thing, which is so not what a newlywed wants.

I find the biggest release is recognising the problem and just accepting it. Like yesterday, sometimes its ok to give up and go home and just wallow, the thing is, where is too much? where do I stop beating myself up? how do I find just the right way to deal with it all and be happy that I have, happy that I’m me and happy with the love I have, which I should be. I’m surrounded by a loving husband and family that I struggle to talk to. I adore them all but barely show it, I struggle to communicate it in any way but of giving them home made gifts and food. The issues of giving each other support but not bogging yourself down is a very very difficult line and I’m no where near finding any answers. I’m not sure if we’re all just a bit too tight lipped about it all and none of us have faced up to the fact we all have problems dealing with loss and adjusting. The stress of it all wears me out and I’m just hoping that getting it all down here is going to help in some small way. If not for me, or my family but for others who now know they are not the only ones out there who cant get that smile, don’t feel like they can relax and be honestly happy. I’m still happy little me inside, she’s just locked away deep right now and wants to come out and play but has lost her way and is sitting there crying for her mummy.

Please feel free to make comment but do be aware this has upset me writing this, no more though than dealing with it in any other way. These things are something we all go through, well at least death of people close to you is.